Bad Career Decisions

I'm not great at anything but I can do a lot of things. Jack of all trades, master of none. I could be a writer, I'm told, but I don't write. I could be a photographer, but I don't take pictures. I cook my ass off because I like to eat and I'm too cheap to pay someone else to do it. I design websites and I'm pretty good at it but there are lots of people who kick my ass and make me look stupid.

I spent 5 years working in a record store only to have records become archaic. I spent another 2 years going to school to learn how to behave myself in an office only to find out that working in an office kills me and I cry all day and my boss tells me to go to a therapist. The therapist tells me to quit my job because it's killing my soul but she has no idea as to what I should replace that occupation with. She just asks me if I can get Alice Cooper's autograph because in my desperation at the office I've spent many hours writing to my adolescent savior and since I am such a sporadic genius I've managed to get through to his assistant. So I quit going to that office too but what should I do with my Gregg Shorthand skills?

Year by year I've watched myself become obsolete.

And then I discovered pornography. I didn't want to do it. I got dragged into it because I felt sorry for a very pretty girl who had been abused and abandoned by idiot webmasters who promised her riches on the internet and then wouldn't answer the phone. I've seen enough of that in the straight world, the idea of what's going on outside of that just broke my heart. So, yeah, I agreed to do her website. And that started a landslide of shit.

Any normal human being would know that you can't test every stereotype. But I have to. Let's put it this way... do all black people like watermelon? Do all Asians drive badly? Are all porn stars fucked up? Well, I don't know. But so far, the porn stars are not being kind to me. The one that I thought was fantastic and educated, reasonable, sane and well-read turned out to be the worst, most wormy narcissist that I've ever met. It took 5 years for her to turn on me and rip my guts out but it it was very clean and precise. And honestly, quite painful.

You know that I'll fill this all out at some point. Right now I'm just talking about my brilliant career. So, for years and years I watch my business grow. Not fast, but steady and I could make a living doing decent websites in a responsible manner. I don't need to get rich, I don't want loans or capital or employees, I just want to make a living. And it was going great. At one point I worked 7 days a week but it was manageable and I could travel and do my work in the morning from a laptop and have the rest of the day to spend with my family. I take this shit very seriously and it turns out that I can work for years every single day as long as I have a few hours to goof around with. If I have flexibility in my schedule so that I can choose which hours are mine, I need a lot less of them.

Well, as I'm sure anyone with a brain would know, this porn thing didn't work out well. The one that I liked the best decided that I was a lousy human being in a matter of moments because... well, I don't actually know why. But that doesn't matter, she did. And so she told the other one's and so they wouldn't work with me. The most popular porn star that I worked for (she ran for Governor of California) was directly responsible for getting me sued and causing me to re-finance my house in order to pay for the legal fees. There was no case, but it turns out that if you get sued you have to defend yourself or just give up your assets. My only asset is my house and I've begged, borrowed and stolen to keep it for 25 years so it was kind of a big deal to me. So now I'm selling the hi-def video camera (cuz it's really important to see those badly lit porn movies on HD) and the 1800 dollar lens for my camera on eBay. Sale ends tomorrow, I guess that if I'd typed this earlier you could have benefited from my idiocy. Who the fuck needs an 1800 dollar lens for porn? Well, there ya go.

There's a lot more to those stories but I just want to point out the career path that I've chosen. I'm actually pretty blown away by how bad it's going and I guess that I just want company, or a witness to how dreadful the American Dream can go.

If I remember the next time I'll type about stealing music, software and fonts.

We'll see.

Classical Angst

Was taken when I created this blog. I don't see a future for this ethereal address.